Drabble: All day she tries to remember her reflection

[evewithanapple.livejournal.com]

Title: All day she tries to remember her reflection
Fandom: Star Trek (AOS)
Summary: "It's like a title, the way they apply it to her"
Rating: PG
Notes: Written for where_no_woman 's February drabblefest.

All day she tries to remember her reflection.
All night she tries to reassemble herself.

When she returns to Earth, she's met with an eager crowd of reporters, all grasping for a quote from George Kirk's Widow. It's like a title, the way they apply it to her; like she used to be a Science Officer. Now she's a Widow, a Victim, a Mother. Even her children aren't immune; Jim and Sam are now Orphans. And they're all Kirks.

Her mother suggests that she give them a statement, just to stave them off. Winona refuses. She knows that it won't last; they'll just come back, like stray animals who know they'll be fed again. There really is something animalistic about them, she thinks; the mindless savagery of their questions, the way they cluster outside her home like the zombies in holovids she loved as a kid. Not that they want to hear about that; George Kirk's Widow doesn't watch holovids or love biology or hate cooking. The Mother doesn't cry at night because she's so tired, bone-tired, and two little boys to care for. By the same token, she doesn't clap her hands with glee when Jimmy takes his first steps, or when Sam comes home with a A in Chemistry. George Kirk's Widow is the face that they plaster across the news reports; her Starfleet photo, probably the only one they were able to find. Winona isn't fond of photos, and she certainly wasn't going to volunteer one.

When she starts to go out again, people recognize her. Sometimes it's as simple as a cashier's eyes widening, or as open as an old woman pressing her hand and calling her "you poor dear." Winona nods politely, pulling her hand away and filing "Poor Dear" away as another one of her new titles.

No one ever calls her "Survivor."